Transition & Upheaval
Well met <3,
I have found myself pulled in many directions lately with the onset of my last year of grad school and an unfamiliar, newly demanding environment via my internship.
In the course of one day, the pendulum swings...a lot.
[ Announcement: Community Connection, Sunday 9/7, 10:30-12pm @ Cowee School, Autumn Equinox Story weaving, Wednesday 9/24, 6-8pm @ Cowee School, preregistration encouraged]
I was talking to a long time friend about this recently and she kindly noted that my journey up until this point has resourced me for being in this storm with more agency, authenticity, and awareness- a why and what that my work has started to center and congeal around.
And then yesterday, I walk talking with a different, equally as meaningful friend about life and mentioned that it really is hard to be in the ordeal of life, the descent into the underworld in the three fold cycle of transformation (separation, descent/ordeal, and renewal/ regeneration); to reveal our neck and be consumed by the story of our life like Aphrodite or Inanna.
It can be overwhelming in a way that prevents us from engaging with it and therefore, missing the meaning, momentum, and medicine it provides.
In Somatic Experiencing (SE), the vortex of overwhelm/activation/survival captivates us and pull us down into its lair with little respite and therefore, narrowed choice, perspective, and possibility. In Ayurveda, we might see this as the drifting from one's genuine nature and therefore, falling into the pitfalls of false desires, or in yoga, identifying with the veil and illusions that often cloud our discernment and heart and therefore, forgetting where we come from and the benevolence of our essence.
At this point in the helicoid journey of the soul and its inherent desire for actualization and realization, tending to the counter vortex (if its not already in tact), is key for re-entering the river of our life and reclaiming awareness, agency, and authenticity.
The counter vortex is the hand that reaches down into the vortex of distress and lends us a life raft, carefully, kindly, gentle, drawing us back to the surface to catch our breath.
We will never go through life in a fulfilling way and not encounter the overwhelm vortex, the point is not to avoid it, it is to be able to be with it and ride the river that flows and eddies into a sacred third way that is the story of our life; the meeting point of raw potential and the containment of wisdom; the melding of the red, black, and white flower (ego, soul, and spirit); the confluence of awareness and agency into authentic aliveness.
Fortifying the counter vortex to weather the storm and be in the unraveling~
noticing beauty and slowing down to feel it in your bones/muscles/joints/sinews/loins/nerves/mind/heart; soaking it up- this eases the grip of overwhelm by signaling to our bodies that there is more to life than threat
feeling the presence of your feet on the ground and your heart against your spine; ground and lean into a feeling of support- let your body receive the message "i got you"
talk to someone or something you trust and share the hard, prickly stuff- this signals to the inflammation of individualism that we are not alone
get rest & feed your body real food with some consistency- where can you create predictability for your mind-body amidst the uncertainty of life, change, transition, the storm?
engage in activities that orient you toward connection, faith, belonging, stability, and source
I've really enjoyed the song "the barrel" by Aldous Harding lately
come to one of our offerings and stay tuned for upcoming opportunities ;)
My attempt to assimilate my experience into words~
I find myself amid a storm
Pulled in many directions, ping ponging in the wild winds
Hard to discern which way to lean,
Unlike trees bowing selflessly in the direction of the wind
The puppets urge me
Hurry, fast, this isn’t okay
The once malleable tree
Tought with disenchantment
Weather the storm out
Something inside of me, etches
On the pages of my story;
The black flower grows here
In the story, the living;
The confluence,
Where time a space converge;
Raw potential and its consort
The tree starts to thaw
The winds begin to settle
When the story is allowed to exist
When the pages swell with aliveness
The spectrum of the storm
Extended into flowers, geese, river, autumn mornings;
A sovereign soul
Bedecked in rich colors and vast landscapes,
A soiree of the mundane, the romantic, and the divine.
A poem for the road~
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Thank you for being here, your presence is a source of inspiration, respite, and resilience!
From the storm,
Ashlyn Miller